Weirdest News Stories in June 2010

Let’s face it.  Strange things happen, but here’s a list of some really weird stuff going on right now!  I wish I could have made some of this stuff up, but it’s all true.  Some of it is bizarre, some of these people are freaks of nature, and one involves an enormous penis.  You don’t want to miss out on this list, because I assure you, everything around you will seem normal after this.

Shipment of Human Heads Found On Plane In Arkansas
Southwest Airlines realized the head-count on a Texas-bound flight was slightly off when an employee found a shipment of four to five dozen human heads on board.  The employee called authorities.  The shipment was not properly labeled or packaged.  Investigators feared the remains were being passed along the black market for research, but a Minneapolis-based medical company called Medtronic claimed the heads, saying they were being transported to one of their offices in Fort Worth.  “Nothing is wrong. We’re providing the documentation,” Janice Hepler, the founder of supplying company told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.  However, Garland Camper, the Pulaski County coroner, told the NBC affiliate that there are “discrepancies” in the documentation.

Dog Spots Gator In Ohio.
Owner Captures Bare Handed.
In Columbus, Ohio, witnesses say a reptile wrangler used his bare hands to capture a 4-foot alligator that an alert dog noticed outside an Ohio business.  Employee Jeff Colucy was with his Weimaraner in the parking lot of a Columbus company that makes office fixtures when the dog went on alert Wednesday morning, focused on the alligator hunkered down in a puddle.  Police brought in reptile wrangler Chris Law, who captured the gator by grabbing it at the tail with his bare hands. He says he didn’t have his usual reptile rescue gear because he was about to leave on vacation.  Law says people often buy alligators as pets, then dump them when they get too big. He picks up about 40 a year and turns them over to wildlife rescue groups.

New Jersey Woman Looking To Hold Heavy-Set Record
A New Jersey woman is looking (and eating) to become the world’s heaviest living woman. She admits that she is starved for attention as she is for a Big Mac.  Donna Simpson, 42, weighs over 600 pounds and aims to reach 1,000 pounds.  The mother of two is an internet fashion model (go figure?!?) who has people paying her to eat fast food.  A Guinness World Records spokeswoman said Simpson has submitted a claim for the title of world’s heaviest woman to give birth, but that it is still being reviewed.  Among the heaviest women ever recorded was one who reportedly weighed 1,800 pounds and another who reportedly weighed 1,200 pounds at the time of their (early) deaths.  Simpson is currently engaged and planning on getting married in Hawaii later this year.  Rumor has it she is looking for another airline than Southwest, who kicked off director, Kevin Smith just a few months ago for being overweight.

Money Found In Dog Poop
A St. Louis man is laughing all the way to the bank.  Steve Wilson, a St. Louis dog-waste removal business employee, noticed some money sticking out of the lawn treasures that he usually discards.  While working for DoodyCalls Pet Waste Removal, Wilson picked up $58 encased in the dog waste.  He picked it up, cleaned it off, sanitized it, and returned it to the owners.  Turns out their faithful pooch had gotten into someone’s wallet and has a taste for expensive things.  The money was torn, but the serial numbers were identifiable.  The owners returned the money to the bank for newer (and cleaner) money.  And you want to know why your mom always yelled at you to wash your hands after handling cash!

Giant Penis Greets Russian Economists

(St. Petersburg – Naturally…) Russian artists painted a giant penis on a drawbridge on the way to an economic forum in St. Petersburg. Measuring 220 feet long the White Russian penis rises and glistens against the city’s skyline when the bridge is drawn up to let ships pass by.  A “political terrorist group” known as Voina (or War) claimed to have drawn the enormous penis in protest to heightened security for the event.  When the bridge is up, the penis stands at attention next to the office of the FSB (the group who took over the KGB and who obviously were caught with their pants down…).  OK, I am out of puns…I’ll stop.