History’s Bad Dads
We can all be thankful this Father’s Day that none of these people are our dads. If you look around, there are a lot of bad dads in the world, but none have compared to these notorious father’s in history. They top the list for being some of the worst people to ever have children! If you got lucky and only had a raving alcoholic that beat you and your siblings when you deserved it, count your lucky stars that they weren’t on this list!
You can tell this Russian leader was a bad dad just from his title. This guy was an all-around mean spirited person who used to kill cats by slamming them into a wall by their tails. He moved up to beating his son’s pregnant wife into a miscarriage because she was dressed too provocatively in the summer heat and finished the off by hitting his son, Ivan Jr., in the head so hard he put him into a coma. Afterwards, Daddy Ivan, sat by his dying son’s bedside and ridiculed him for being a “weakling”.
Thomas was a noble Englishman in the time of Henry the Eight. He had two daughters and a son. Thomas really, REALLY wanted to be important in the king’s court, so he pimped off his youngest daughter, Mary, to the king. When that didn’t work out, Thomas got his oldest daughter to hook up with him. That did the trick, because Henry the Eighth married Anne Boleyn. When this happened, Thomas skyrocketed in power in England. Unfortunately, after three years and no male heirs, the king was ready to move on. He had Anne and her brother, George, beheaded for treason and heresy and married someone else. Thomas was in a position to help his children, but didn’t want to jeopardize his position - so he said nothing!
I don’t want it to seem like I’m picking on Russians, but this Russian leader was almost as bad as Ivan! He had fourteen children and only three of them made it to adulthood. The one that did, his eldest son Alexei, wasn’t his father’s favorite. Peter continually threatened to “cut him off like a gangrened limb” and finally threatened to have him imprisoned and tortured. What was a kid like Alexei to do when your father, the Emperor of Russia, tells you something like that? You run! He did and survived. Eventually, Peter the Not-So-Great saw the error of his ways and told his son that he could return and he wouldn’t imprison and torture him. With a sigh of relief, Alexei came back home - and was immediately arrested, imprisoned, tortured, and sentenced to death! His dad didn’t have a completely cruel heart, though. He never signed the execution papers. Instead, he let his son die in prison from all the torturing...
Another one of “the Greats”, Herod was the kings of Judea during the birth of Jesus. In reality, Herod was just a puppet king ruled by the Romans. He goes down in history for many great architectural achievements and for his huge problem with paranoia. He is the king who ordered the Massacre of the Innocents - or the killing of all children under the age of two - in the city of Bethlehem because he feared that Jesus would overthrow him. In addition to having the children of his own people killed, Herod is also responsible for killing his wife, his mother-in-law, his brother-in-law, and three of his sons killed. He doesn’t sound so great to me...
With all of “the Great” father’s on this list, I am almost ashamed I ever got my dad that “World’s Greatest Dad” trophy when I was a kid! Getting stuck with this title is almost a guarantee that your dad is going to be a real jerk. In the case of Constantine the Great, he was the first Christian emperor of Rome. While he wasn’t as cruel, selfish or hate-filled as the other dads on this list, he failed when it came to knowing what was going on in his own house. Constantine had six children with his two wives. Of these, his favorite amongst the lot was his oldest son, Crispus. This kid did everything for Constantine. He was a general in his dad’s armies and he helped to run the Roman government. He was being groomed to be the emperor, himself, one day. At least this was the plan until Constantine’s second wife - a cougar named Fausta - decided to make a pass at Crispus. Being the dutiful son, Crispus declined her advances and went and told his father, the Emperor. However, Fausta told Constantine a completely different story and he became enraged and had his son executed. Crispus’ name and memory were wiped off all records in Rome and it was as if he never existed! Luckily, the cougar got what was coming to her. Constantine’s mom told him that his wife was really the one to blame for the whole incident and that he killed his innocent son. Grief-stricken, Constantine had Fausta killed, too!