Five Things That Really Grind My Gears

grindsmygearsI, like many people, am a huge Family Guy fan. I own all the volumes, and there isn’t an episode I haven’t seen. That being said, on Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, Peter Griffin gets a job on the local news station doing a nightly segment on the news titled “What Really Grinds My Gears.” He then goes on a rant about something random that ticks him off. The segments are hilarious and every time I see them I think to myself, “What really grinds my gears?” Here is my five.

number1   People Who Ride Your Bumper
I am not talking about people riding your bumper because you are going way too slow. I am talking about the people who will ride your bumper when they can clearly see that there is a car in front of you going really slow. What in the hell are you supposed to do? A couple weeks ago this happened to me while it was snowing. The first red light I came too, I opened my door, stepped halfway out of my car, and expressed my frustration with the jackass that was following me way too close. He turned the first chance he got.

number2  Changing the Channel During Commercials and Then Flipping Back too Late
I am all for switching the T.V. channels during commercials, but I get ticked if I don’t get back in time. When it’s my own fault I can deal with it, but when somebody else is controlling the remote control then I get ticked. Seriously, who knows what you missed. I don’t know why but it really bothers me. If I am not controlling the remote, I would rather the other person just leave the channel where it is unless they want to hear me griping in their ear.

number3  Girls Who Pretend to Be Huge Fans of Teams Because They Think a Player is Hot
If I have to sit in a bar and hear “Tom is so gorgeous, the Patriots are so lucky,” or “Reggie is my baby, I love the Saints.” I hate it, I can’t stress that enough. I am a HUGE fan of the NFL, and I respect fans of other teams but I can’t stomach listening to women go on and on about how gorgeous a player is and how she is a fan of that players team forever. Shut Up, and watch the game. While we are on the subject…..

number4  Bandwagon Fans
I am and always have been a fan of the Dallas Cowboys. All the time I am accused of being a bandwagon fan, but the truth is I was born in Texas raised in Oklahoma, I’m from the same town as Troy Aikman, and we had no other NFL team to root for in Oklahoma. If those aren’t good enough reasons to be a fan, then I don’t know what else is. I absolutely hate fans that jump on bandwagons year after year. The Cowboys have a lot of fans like that, and I dislike them as well. The most annoying bandwagoners are the ones who will do their research and learn the history of their team so that they can sound like they are not bandwagoners, but we know who you are. Watch, the Saints will have all kinds of fans this next year.

number5  Old Drunks Who Get Within Inches of Your Face While Talking To You
A friend of mine owns a bar. We used to be roommates so I spent a lot of time at his bar. The type of bar attracts your everyday drunks that need their shot of Jack and about 10 beers before they can feel accomplished for the day. Most of the men in this bar are older. They feel the need to stand toe to toe with you and talk about all this sentimental garbage that you have no clue about, all the while they are inches from your face and you are getting drunk off of the fumes that are coming out of their mouth. Then they will say something kind of offensive and things will get quiet and awkward for a minute before they get real loud and say “AAAH, I was just kidding.” Then they proceed to hang all over you until you step aside and let them fall on their faces.

And to quote the great Peter Griffin “And that is what really grinds my gears, back to you Tom.”