Five Reasons Not To See Twilight Eclipse

If you've read my articles in the past, you know that I have no love for the Twilight series of books. Sure, it is a popular series, the movies are making money hand over fist - but they suck! There are so many BETTER vampire series out there, that don't push a religious agenda and aren't abusive to women. But, hey, it's your money being thrown down the drain on poor entertainment. But, if there is anyway I can convince you to do otherwise, here are my five reasons why you shouldn't go see this film:

The Dialogue is Less-Than-Sparkling
Almost the entire movie is lifted from Stephenie Meyer's book, Eclipse, so really, there is no need to see the film at all. But, the worst part is that it doesn't really translate well into film when you consider that they couldn't find actors who could...you know...act. These folks are more wooden than Hayden Christensen trying to pull off an evil Jedi. Plus that, there is less love between Bella (Kristin Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) - who are supposedly a "real life" couple - than Barack Obama and the entire Conservative Right.

While I Am On Sparkling...
Vampires DO NOT sparkle in the sun. They burn. It's not that vampires are real, but time and time again, from real literature, we've learned that sunlight kills vampires. It's a simple rule to follow: Vampires burn in the sun and you don't scratch werewolves behind their ears like they are some sort of puppy dog looking for attention. Seriously? What's up with that? In the series, Bella does more research on vampires than Meyer did while writing the books. She admitted this in an interview, which is pretty obvious once you've seen the movies.

Women Don't Want To Be Treated Like That
It's abusive treatment, really. Bella is always the clumsy damsel-in-distress, chasing after the vampire that keeps stringing her along. I heard a commercial stating that Edward has had a hundred years to know what love is, yet he doesn't even have a clue. The two of them are always fighting and complaining about each other and Meyer's books are so flat, they don't capture what's "human" about love. Love is much deeper than the way someone looks and how the other one smells! That's just creepy.

Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Vampires
If Twilight teaches our children something, it would be that: you should drop out of school, think about committing suicide, stalk other people and sit in their rooms while watching them sleep, have your daughters desire to have premarital sex (thank goodness that vampire was wearing a purity ring), condone domestic abuse, offer your baby to your best friend when he is not the father, think pedophilia is all right (Edward is, after all, a hundred years old and scamming on high school girls), and use sex as blackmail (Edward forcing Bella into marriage so she can finally get some). My bad! They really ARE good, wholesome books you want your thirteen year old daughters reading!

With All That's Going On With The World, Is Twilight That Important?
What does a movie ticket cost? Seven dollars? Ten dollars? It just depends on where you live. In the first six days of its release, this movie made $176.4 million. With all that is important going on in the world right now, wouldn't it be better to help out with the Gulf of Mexico disaster? That cleanup is going to take decades and your few dollars that you spent wasting your time, could have gone to help protect our southern coastline. If you don't want to do that, how about donating some time to a local charity or service? Since the Twilight series like to abuse women so much (both mentally and emotionally - just ask Bella), then maybe that money might be better spent going to a women's shelter...where real world problems can be given some help.