I love the Star Wars franchise and will watch it every chance I can get. I grew up with the series from the very beginning and made sure that I was sitting in a seat on opening night for the last five movies. The other night, I am watching the whole series on television and it occurred to me that there are some very severe holes in the plot – and I am not referring to the acting of Hayden Christensen. Below are my five problems with the Star Wars franchise:
The Ewoks are the most advanced race in all the Galaxy.
You heard me right. Those soft, loveable furballs that ruined Episode six are both intelligent and advanced. In all of the known Galaxy, they are the only group of aliens to come up with the concept of – handrails. The reason may be that Jedi’s are supposed to be everywhere and they ONLY lose their hands in a fight. If you don’t believe me, ask: Luke, Darth Vader, or General Grievous. The hand is the target of choice for the Jedi Knight and when the more “advanced” cultures build their super complexes, they have found they can save money by avoiding this costly addition. You can find this on the Death Star where narrow walkways overlooking hundred story drops have no safety devices.
Yoda can’t make a lightsaber for himself.
Master Yoda, the teacher of all young Jedi puts himself into exile to avoid the Empire and the evil Sith. During this time, he takes on and trains Luke Skywalker, who builds his own lightsaber after losing his in a fight with Darth Vader (see loss of hands above). Yoda uses a lightsaber in the prequel and Obi-Wan makes mention that the lightsaber is the weapon of the Jedi. The way Darth Vader talks, making a lightsaber is like a right of passage for the Jedi Knight. So, in all of those years of exile, couldn’t Yoda make a new lightsaber for himself? He never knew when he might need to defend himself again. Sure, he is a master of the Force, but the little extra insurance of a lightsaber could come in handy.
They can send a man to Yavin, but they can’t stop death during childbirth.
This absolutely amazes me. There are people flying between planets, they can create cyborgs, and technology is so advanced there are armies of clones and droids killing each other, but they can’t stop Padme from dying in childbirth. They can explain it off as she had just given up with the loss of Anakin, but really…it’s a bit of a stretch. Where is her maternal sense? What’s going to happen to those poor little babies that need their mother? I just don’t buy it.
Obi-Wan Kenobi is one sick puppy.
So the epic sword fight between Anakin and Kenobi ends with Obi-Wan taking the high ground and removing Anakin’s legs and arm (yet another loss of a hand) and they have a dialogue between them. Obi-Wan cries out that he thought of Anakin as a brother and that he loves him – yet, he then stands there and watches Anakin suffer, burn, and then he walks away! Who does that? Afterwards, he is fully aware that Padme had two children and who they are – and lives near Luke – yet he lies to him about his father and his family, while the son of his friend lives in squalor working on the water farm. Obi-Wan is cold. Very cold.
What Are R2D2 and Chewbacca Up To?
Speaking of knowing the background of the whole story, what’s going on with R2-D2 and Chewbacca? Just because we don’t speak their tongue, can’t they speak up and say, “Yeah, tell Yoda we’ve met before…” or “Hey Obi-Wan, remember me from the Clone Wars?” R2D2 has observed Darth Vader and the Emperor and knows about them. Why can’t he give some insight on how to defeat them? Also, he knows about Yoda, Obi-Wan and Bail Organa right off the bat. He should be telling C3P0 something! As for Chewbacca, what happened to him? He was second-in-command to the people of an entire planet? He’s a war veteran of the Clone Wars – a skilled leader – and now he’s taking commands from some low life who is dealing in organized crime! Obviously, Kenobi (who’s still in communication with Yoda) had Chewbacca sent to Tatooine to take the crew to Bail Organa. Chewbacca and R2D2 have to be spies for the Rebellion because no one could be that obtuse when it comes to details you already know…
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#1 by Jeremy VanderTook on December 28th, 2009
While points 1, 2 and 4 are totally valid (and kinda funny when you think about it), you have to delve further into the Star Wars universe (i.e. books and graphic novels) to get the true sense of why things turned out the way they did. Padme died because she was just totally broken inside, and couple that with the birth of two huge babies…. and as far as R2-D2, he purposefully locked those portions of his memories away, especially the parts where he downloaded the vid files of Anakin killing Younglings… Don’t know about Chewie tho… that’s another good point. Just thought I would throw in my 2 cents, since I am an avid Star Wars reader and big fan of your columns. Keep up the good work!