Musicians are typically known for being eccentric, but some of them are downright creepy. Sure, some songs are purposefully made creepy for Halloween, but then there are those that make you wonder what the songwriters are thinking of when they come up with these lyrics. Here are five songs that really make me question humanity.
“I’ve Never Been To Me” by Charlene
If you aren’t listening to the lyrics, you’ll think this is a beautiful love song. In fact, it is a one-hit wonder by Charlene that came out in 1977. Upon closer inspection of the song, you’ll understand that the singer is telling the listener that it is better to be a good person instead of the whore that she became living in the lap of luxury. She makes sure that the woman she is singing to understands that traveling all over the world, seducing married men, and being wined and dined by the world’s elite isn’t all it is cracked up to be. Yeah! What a great way to try and keep women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen! It’s better to make sure that they know you were partying! I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.
“Angry Johnny” by Poe
Here’s a winner. The song is from presumably an ex-girlfriend who is angry with Johnny. The song is pleasing to hear, but then you realize that she’s talking about killing him in different places and mixing it up with a sophomoric pun that is reminiscent to a Bob and Tom skit. As the song goes on, she doesn’t resolve her problem, but rather just comes up with more places to kill the poor bastard.
“You Outta Know” by Alanis Morrisette
This song, along with the rest of the album, Jagged Little Pill, was a huge success in the mid-1990s and rumored to be an homage to Morrisette’s failed relationship with comedian Dave Coulier, of television’s Full House fame. If I were Coulier, I’d be worried that Alanis was going to show up with my pet rabbit in a boiling pot of water. This is downright scary for any man who has broken up with a vengeful woman.
“Does she know how you told me you’d hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you’re still alive…”
Those lyrics alone are enough to put a restraining order on someone. I’ve put the acoustic version of this song here because I think this is even more terrifying than the original.
“Mr. Turnkey” by Zager and Evans
You’ve probably never heard of this song – and with good reason! It has a nice, melodic folksy sound but it’s one of the creepiest songs I’ve ever listened to. It is performed by Zager and Evans, the same duo that sang the song, “In the Year 2525” which became a hit in the mid-1960s. This song, a follow-up single to that Top 40 hit, didn’t quite make the cut. It’s about a guy who rapes a woman and is sent to prison. While he’s there, he’s remorseful so he’s calling out to his jailer to let him know he’s nailed his hand to the cell wall and is dying. WTF? This song came out of the 1960’s! It was a time of peace and love and this is what they gave us. It’s no wonder this group never had the success of the Beatles or the Rolling Stones.
“Country Death Song” by Violent Femmes
Milwaukee’s Violent Femmes are known for their not-so-subtle lyrics and songs, but this piece really takes the cake. Naturally, it is performed with a banjo and is about a backwoods bumpkin who loses his sanity so, he decides to throw his daughter down a well. Afterwards, he does society a favor and kills himself. I am not certain whether the content of this song is more disturbing than the fact that Gordon Cano, lead singer for the Violent Femmes, originally wrote this song while a sophomore in high school sitting in his study hall. In any case, it became the lead off song on their album, Hallowed Ground.