Celebs Who Lost The Battle Of The Bulge
With The Expendables 2 coming out this weekend, it brought back some real nostalgia of all of the old action heroes of my youth. I really enjoyed seeing them shooting it up on the silver screen again. Bringing actors like Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Norris, and Lundgren is absolutely genius and Sly should be commended for getting them all together. It got me to thinking that this movie could be a formula for other great hits. They might not make the impact of a group of action heroes, but why mess with success? For that reason, I bring you....THE EXPANDABLES...a group of actors who have just let their weight go and have lost the Battle Of The Bulge...
THE FAT MAN
He went from Batman to Fatman. Ice Man to Ice Cream. What happened to him? Kilmer couldn't even fit into the cockpit of an airplane anymore.
THE PRINCESS
She's traded places with Jabba the Hut since her bi-polar drugs took over her metabolism. She was just on the Celebrity Roast of Roseanne Barr and I hardly recognized her!
THE DREAD PIRATE
Cary Elwes used to be a pretty good looking guy. He was the Dread Pirate Roberts in "The Princess Bride" and starred as the Doctor in the classic horror film, "Saw". Since that time, it looks like the only thing he's been pirating is the refrigerator!
ROMANCING THE SCONE
Kathleen Turner was super-hot back in the 1980s and 90s. She had that husky voice and was a really good actress who teamed up with Michael Douglas and Danny DeVito quite a bit. Now, it looks like we haven't seen them in recent films because she ate them! It's time to pick up the cigarettes again!
EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE UNCLE
Randy Quaid has never been anyone I'd call "thin", but he was never really fat. That is until now. He's really aged and gotten Really, REALLY fat. This star of "Independence Day", "Midnight Express", and the "Vacation" movies has gone off the deep end. Of the list, he is the leader of The Expandables!
